The Florida breeze moved the curtains ever so slightly in her room, dabbled sunlight lay upon the rug. Nestled against the soft pillows, Mom’s unwrinkled face rested. Leah, the hospice nurse, gently and with such care, spoke about giving Mom her dignity as her journey was ending. Sharing that moment in stillness, I vowed as a nurse to give others this beautiful choice of saying goodbye.
Realizing dying was life affirming, my path into hospice began. I had been a hospice volunteer and now went into hospice nursing. I visited patients in the inner city from the projects to family homes. At times, keys were thrown from a window for me to let myself in. I had the privilege to enter their lives — each with a story to tell as I sat at their kitchen tables. They talked, I listened, as they told me about their journey ahead each a mystery to them. Hospice’s gift is that their road is filled with compassion and dignity. I held each family close to my heart and learned from them.
Patients experience loss every day — losing control of their lives. Imagine day by day losing the ability to chart your own course, of making decisions for yourself, the loss of body image family, job. You become a passive subject of others’ decisions for you. Hospice becomes the safeguard of the soul and gives back control and voice to families and patients.
Some patients cannot stay at home and see their bureau with pictures. This is why the inpatient unit for hospice and palliative care is being created at Morristown Medical Center — to give choice, another place to be, surrounded by staff and others who respect their decisions. The last moments will be held in grace. For all of us we can be judged by four questions:
Were we truly people of courage?
Were we truly people of compassion?
Were we truly people of kindness?
Were we truly people of dedication?
Some say we each have three angels with us at all times: one for courage, one for safety, and one for just in case. Hospice sits alongside.
Nancy Weinstein is a retired hospice nurse and now volunteers at Morristown Medical Center. She and her husband, Skippy, gave a lead gift to the Foundation for Morristown Medical Center for the new Weinstein Inpatient Hospice and Palliative Care Center at the hospital. The 11-bed unit is expected to open in 2014.
